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Alexander Shiarella
February 17, 2010
Filed under Commentary, Top Stories

Any high school student nearing college-bound age has probably, like me, spent the past few months sorting through a barrage of computer generated emails describing green quads, dedicated professors, and exclusive sounding application deadline extensions. While the majority of schools claim to offer something new and different, for most of us, nearly all of these emails will fall into an indistinguishable abyss of overly eager sounding subject lines. Still, as I wait to hear back from the colleges I selected as my “dream schools”, I’d like to point out a few others that stood out from the crowd as being, well, a little different.

For the Ivy League-bound Cowboys: Do you enjoy herding livestock, milking cows, and harvesting alfalfa? Do you also have a great academic record and SAT section scores in the upper 700s? Well, on the off chance you answered yes to both of these questions, Deep Springs College may be the right choice for you. Alone in Deep Springs Valley (an hour by car over a mountain pass from the nearest sizable town) is this rather strange two-year college. Stuck in the heart of California’s High Desert on a cattle ranch and alfalfa farm, the all-male student body of about 26 run just about everything at Deep Springs College. In addition to his studies, each student works a minimum of twenty hours a week in many possible positions, from herding cattle to washing dishes. Plus, no student may leave the valley during the academic terms and the use of drugs and alcohol is strictly prohibited. Still, before you pack your bags and gallop your way to this long-standing, intelligence and testosterone filled social experiment, you should know that with a truly unique academic experience and a full scholarship for every student, spots at Deeps Springs College are highly sought after. Selectivity ranges between 6% and 15% percent and the academic credentials of accepted students are more than competitive. Also, applicants must make it through a tough, two-part admissions process with nine essays and an on campus interview. This may sound like a bit much, but all of the hard work getting into Deep Springs College tends to pay off as most students move on to the world’s top universities. In the past ten years, after two years at Deep Springs, 16% of students transferred to Harvard, 13% to the University of Chicago, 7% to Yale, and 7% to Brown.

IHOP with fewer pancakes and more Jesus: Located in Grandview, Missouri, is the International House of Prayer University, or IHOPU, the school of “24/7 prayer”. Not to be confused with the syrup-drenched restaurant chain that holds a similar name, IHOPU prepares students to “go forth to preach the Word, heal the sick, serve the poor, plant houses of prayer, and proclaim the return of Jesus across the earth.” Students can get their degree from the School of Ministry, Music Academy, or Media Institute, all of which equip them to “boldly proclaim the name of Jesus and His return”. If you are looking for a slightly less gung-ho, but equally Jesus-lovin’ approach to bible school, you might want to check out L. I. F. E. Bible College, Practical Bible College, Free Will Baptist Bible College, or God’s Bible School and College.

Dances with books: In my search for alternative colleges, I was sad to find out that Native American community college Deganawidah-Quetzalcoatl University (or D-Q University as it was commonly called) closed in 2006 due to loss of accreditation, declining enrollment, alleged financial mismanagement, and a possible name dispute with Dairy Queen. However, I was cheered up to find the existence of another Native American college with an equally incredible name: Dull Knife Memorial College, or as it is now called, Chief Dull Knife College. For those of you who don’t share my enthusiasm about the possibility of attending college in Lame Deer, Montana, just think how awesome that name would look on a hoodie.

I see recently dead people: Upon entering college, most high school graduates are not yet completely sure what they want to do with their lives. However, some students know from the start exactly where they want to end up, and for the students at the Gupton Jones College of Funeral Service, that means working with dead people. This Atlanta college actually traces its roots all the way back to 1920, with the founding of the Gupton Jones School of Embalming in Nashville. It has since been awarding Associate of Science Degrees in Funeral Service to successful students and has developed a unique curriculum featuring a variety of courses including the Sociology of Funeral Service, Mortuary Law/Ethics, and what is called “Restorative Art”. I was also surprised to find out that the Gupton Jones College of Funeral Service has many of the attributes of a normal college, including a fraternity, a library, and alumni reunions.

Going back to the days of gold stars: More and more colleges today are altering the ways they evaluate their students. There is grade inflation, grade deflation, and at some schools (including Bennington College, Evergreen State College, Goddard College, Union Institute and University, and Hampshire College) there are no grades at all. At these schools, grades have been replaced by “narrative evaluations”. How exactly you figure out GPA from constructive criticism, I don’t know, but these schools apparently make it happen.

The cynical sisters: Since not long after the pilgrims first set foot in the new world, Laboure College, Paine College, and Hazard Community College have jointly committed themselves to academic rigor, strict policies, and overall emotional distress. Not really, but seriously, who would look forward to going to a college with one of those names. If you are looking for a school with a slightly more optimistic sounding name, you may want to try Friends University, Life University, or Liberty University. Or, if you’re more of the rebellious type, take a look at Defiance College.

Go Whalers: You’ve likely always wondered what the northernmost accredited community college in the United States is. Well, probably not, but you get to find out anyway. Up in the most northern point of Alaska, where the United States Naval Arctic Research Laboratory once stood, is Ilisagvik College. Dedicated to “perpetuating and strengthening Inupiat culture, language, values and traditions”, it provides the best education north of the Arctic Circle. In addition, they have a giant bowhead whale skull in front of the college’s main building. The only downside is that the current temperature at Ilisagvik is -42^oF.