Staff

Tori Wilcox-Blundell

Tori Wilcox is a very complicated person.  She has normal hobbies like every other teenager in this world like shopping and cooking, but when she isn’t in school she is also an avid protester for animal rights.  One of her most famous escapades was for protesting the slaughter of whales in Japan.  So besides being the real girl who has a warrant for her arrest in Japan, she also has search warrants in her name in nine other countries for protesting several other inhumane acts against animals.  One of them, of all things, is the domestication of lemurs; she has a soft spot for those furry little creatures.  She is also obsessed with her lifelong dream to own an alpaca farm in the Swiss Alps where she can live in solitude after her activist legacy has died down.

John Whitty

There once was a little boy named John Whitty.  He learned at a young age he had a love for Harry Potter and everything revolving around it.  He went through his life walking around in a robe and with a broomstick, secretly (well not that secretly) wishing for a life at Hogwarts.  Eventually outgrowing that stage, he now has a love for tanning, walks on the beach, yoga classes, and eating banana pancakes with cinnamon toast on the side.  If you’re looking for him he will be most likely found in the library studying bats (his favorite animal), or reading one of his favorite Harry Potter books in a hidden corner somewhere.

Alyssa Vetter

Alyssa Vetter enjoys the finer thing in life such as clipping nails and the color red . She also loves the delicious allure of Warm Delights. She was voted most likely to destroy conventional thought  and brains of the unsuspecting with her mad beauty and art skills. Watch out for the wave of amazing that is Alyssa Vetter.

Tevin Togami

Most people come from other people; born of a mother and father. Tevin Togami, however, was hatched from an egg. As a young boy, Tevin spent his time practicing basketball which reminded him of his reptilian beginnings. Though he wasn’t very tall he boasted the attitude and skills of a 6’9 all star. Now Tevin can be found in the local parks around Hawaii riding his giant dog named Shaq.

Kelsey Tanouye

Kelsey Tanouye is the queen of all fourth graders.  She constantly lives in fear of aliens taking over the earth.  When she’s not in school she walks around with a tin foil hat on her head to keep the aliens away.  The only time she takes her hat off is if she is going to Barnes and Noble to drink coffee and read magazines.  At the book store she also reads books about what to do if aliens take over the planet.  She plans to go to Harvard and invent a force field that will surround the whole planet in case of an invasion.  Once she does this she will win the Nobel Peace Prize and become a billionaire.

Kalani Soeda

Kalani’s parents couldn’t decide what to name their son, so they named him Christopher Michael Stephen Edward Kalani Jonathon Soeda.  Kalani struggled to spell his name in school and was frequently scolded by teachers and friends alike.  Officially diagnosed with “senioritis” at the age of two, Kalani religiously consumes six hotpockets every afternoon just before his 4:30pm siesta. Despite his spelling “wishes” and napping schedule, he continues to pursue his true passion for spandex and sports.

A.J. Shiarella

Although he was once a world-renowned scholar of fourteenth century Kyrgyz architecture, Alexander has taken time off the past few years to explore life as a nomadic train riding hobo. Traveling the great rails rails of central Canada, he entertains passengers with his exhilarating stories of Gautr, the Anglo-Saxon orphan boy who hopes to one day become a dentist. When not busy writing articles to send to Mrs. Barron via homing pigeon, A.J. enjoys collecting squirrels, making origami, and pretending to be a walrus. While he has loved his time on the railroad, he plans to soon retire and pursue his lifelong dream of opening a crepe shop.

Chelsea Meerians

Chelsea Meerians was always a peculiar child. Chelsea’s strange and awkward characteristics baffled everyone she came in contact with, especially her mother, Godzilla.  Never fitting in with the rest, she was always too loud, or too weird for others to be around.  As she got older, she started to notice some peculiarities, but she just chalked them up to ‘the wonders of puberty.’  Her brain began to enlarge physically which may have been due to the books which she consumed voraciously – literally.  Chelsea also noticed that she was very stealthy, and could balance on tree branches without falling!  But the weirdest ability, by far, would have to be flying.  No, she did not have graceful butterfly’s wings, but rather malformed ones, which didn’t seem to take full form…yet.  The day she began to change from an awkward being, was the day she met a magical fairy, her name, Ashley.  They met in a forest, a magical and colorful forest, filled with very unusual shapes, sounds, and figures.  From that day forward Chelsea transformed from a caterpillar to majestic butterfly.

Sean Lambert

Dan Lambert, most commonly known as Sean Lambert is a colorful man who loves the little things in life such as taking the rust off cars and trash-talking pitiful movies such as Cat Women. “Cat Women equals bad” explains Dan, as he exhales slowly, head drooping.  Dan openly flaunts his laid back, cool aura that exudes his lifestyle. “I make this look cool (apply to all)” he says and you should defiantly believe it. DAN IS SLICK, period.

Monet Gregory

Monet Gregory is the queen of the fairies and lives in a golden castle on top of Mt. Maunakea.  She has a cat named Mighty Mouse.  She likes to go sightseeing with her homie Timothy the Tiny and enjoys long walks on the beach.  She wants to be a monk when she grows up.  Everyone loves Monet and wants to be her best friend.  She is more talented than any other human alive and has sumo skills that make her a celebrity in Japan.

Taylor Gray

Taylor Wyatt Gray takes a lot of pride of the originality of his name.  In his free time, Taylor enjoys chasing butterflies in the prairie and tending to his beautiful flower garden in his backyard.  Taylor counts down the seconds during the school day just so he can rush back home to watch the new episodes of Hannah Montana and Suite Life of Zack and Cody.  Taylor studies hard in school with the intent to pursue a career in interior design with a backup major of professional haiku poet.

Ashley Abraham

Tenderly plucked from a Peruvian cabbage patch at the ripe age of nine, it was obvious that amazing things would be expected of Ashley Abraham. Her purpose in life was not yet discovered till she reached the impressionable age of fourteen, when one glorious summer day she met the crucial idle of her life:  Chelsea Meerians. From that moment on, her existence became devoted to frolicking through daisy fields and distributing free hugs. Now at the age of seventeen, she spends her free time shape shifting into guinea pigs and spending five dollars at the 99-cent store on sugar coated erasers.